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its been a while. [May. 27th, 2004|05:24 pm]
So this one time... about a week ago Ash decides its not working out between us because we fight a lot about stupid things. She wants to be alone to "find herself". Although it hurts more than a lot of things in life, there is no reason to go crawling back after I got beat down. I have to turn around, get up, brush the dirt off, and continue.

Ill admit, I want her back. Of course I do, I still love her in a way I cant explain. I realized that I had been an ass to her a lot and not trusted her at all. I blame the entire problems in the relationship on me taking the wrong actions to things "she did".

Even tho I feel like this and the pain is still there... she doesnt see it. Most of the time, I see her as a little child, blind to the real feelings. I see Ash as my first "real" love. Theres this thing I call "virgin love", which is self explanatory. I think thats what she feels.

I can do anything I want, but every time I think of her it just gets me down. I still think she wants it, but then again I cant tell.